You make me want to be a man.

xPatriotic_treasonx.myspace.com

Add me. I think I'm gonna split this joint.

Question of the year:
Where has everyone gone? I say Peter, you and I picked a fine time to decide to show our asses around this place, didn't we?
Hey there, to anyone who still exists in this realm. I think the non-teenie Frenemies have all turned to ash. Pretty.much.
Oh well. We had a good run, didn't we?

No. I'm not trying to think up clever metaphors, and be all cutesy emo-insomniac. I really am afraid of my bed.
For the past three nights, I've been JUST barely unconscious, when I've gotten the unpleasant sensation of being shaken. The first time it happened, I felt the covers flapping, like someone was trying to get me awake by making me uncomfortable in this cold room. I wigged out and yelled at my brother to stop it.
Turns out, there was no one there.
The second time it happened [yesterday], I felt as though there were someone beneath the bed, moving the mattress underneath me. Again, the room was empty.

I'm getting really sketch about sleeping there, so I've been on the internet all night, but a few minutes ago, I distinctly heard the sound of something moving under my bed.

I've pretty much kissed the prospect of sleep goodbye for tonight.
No way I'm laying there.

I wish you would wake up and keep me company. I'm kind of scared. D:

All you are is a back-up gag reflex.
Boy do I love making myself sick.

Currently cleaning my ear with a nail file, and debating turning the left ear canal into a vampiric glory hole.

Currently afraid to count sheep for fear of the stuffed Green Goblin on my bed throttling me and tossing me into Lamb Chop pie.

Currently wondering if I am the last living reminder of life before the age of too much of not enough.

I think I'll take the pie, for 400.
Final answer.


Goodnight.

So. I saw Barack Obama today. It was kind of hilarious. Right before he came out, everyone got all hushed and so I yelled "OH MY GOD, IT'S PETE WENTZ!"
There was this like, collective gasp, and all the girls turned around. :D
I'm such a douche bag. I took a video of him speaking, he's such a kind man. I also almost started a mosh pit to the All American Rejects song they were playing before he arrived. I'm such a teenager. Post some pictures and video of it soon.
Today was a good day.
Oh. And also something caught on fire downtown. The flames were HUGE. It was amazing. Pictures of that soon.

Love you. :]

I almost lost you. I nearly let you go, and for that, I'm ashamed.
"Seasons change, but people don't" and "everyone changes". I get it. However, you got me wrong, like I did to you.
Don't doubt me, because it's more than you will ever know.
More than I could tell you with cloudy words that blow off in the wind.
But let them be the driving force behind your sails-
all I need is for you to steer.
I keep whispering these words, these cloudy words that get caught in twisters.
Maybe one will blow through, shock you, touch the tips of your ears gently, at least. The others will come, more malignant, scathing and wrecking [or trying to at least]
They're only miniature, trapped in a glass pickle jar and contained by a lid.
The one that comes without the pain will steer you under cover(s)
and rock you to sleep.
Rest your head on this pillow- these cloudy words.
From the outline of yr body beneath the cover(s)
It's clear that it's you sleeping there
all along.

Ftw.

http://www.stardoll.com/en/dolls/676/Pete_Wentz.html

Have fun.

Hey.
I'm sitting here. Currently missing you to death. Currently feeling like a boiled turd. Isn't there someone out there I was MEANT to be cuddled up against now?
I'm starting to lose that feeling.

Hey kid. You broke my heart. Got any new moves to show me?

Yeah. It's me.

...Yes. I have been gone for awhile, and I can't promise that I can make it up to you. Stuff has changed. I moved out of my old house over the weekend. That stank something terrible. I hate...physical labor. It was grueling. Oh. I also dropped my cell phone in a puddle. My phone was fried for two days before I got another one. Apparently, I don't like change much. I got the newer Chocolate in black. Hm. The Voyager can kiss my ass. Oh. Text me. [252-414-7082]. Or you can call me. Just make sure it's after 9:00.

There's a hair in my eye. ...Um. I really don't get up here much anymore, but you can MySpace me, if you have one. -----> http://www.myspace.com/xpatriotic_treasonx .

Yes, I have gotten quite boring. ...Hmph. Spring Break is sucking big ones for me. I guess I just feel a bit morbid. Most of my friends are out of town. Except for Josh, who is playing Devil May Cry 4 in the other room. Chris Lutz has just arrived. Time to go and greet him. Whoopie.

 

O_o Save me.

Swear to God. It bothers the runny shet out of me when people come up and talk to me with stank ass breath. Turd nuggets, have you no shame?
No, I did not come here to complain about diarrhea breath. I came to say hi. I miss y'all. [I adopted that word into my vocabulary as a joke. Why am I still using it?] Krista, Beffy, Niki, Korie, Lynzie, Aly, Eve, Kayla! I miss you all. If I didn't say your name, it's because I'm speed typing, on crack, and doped up on stupid. Trying to get back into the swing of things.
Oh! I'm writing a story. It's not very long, or good. But it may keep you entertained. Somehow. I don't know. I'm so boring. :] Post it soon.
I miss hearing about your guys' interesting lives. Keep me fueled [by Ramen]. Don't discontinue your tales! I'll gut you, like no motherfucker knows. Well...I will know, but then again I do not partake in the fucking of mothers. Gross.
How many of you guys are going to Warped this year? Anyone? Let me know. Because I'm a nosey git. I'm kind of bummed that Atreyu is playing. Their music makes me crack up. I'm not sure it's supposed to do that. Yay. Atweyu.
I wish I had a lithp. I'd be fucking amathing. I love you, Joe-Troh-the-Fro. ...In case I lost my train of thought, where was it I last left off. Oh yeah. As I was saying, I miss you. Drop me notes. DROP THEM. Like turds into a toilet bowl. Why am I obsessed with feces? ...:T Good day, to you my ninjas. :T

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNVYWJOEy9A

Sky like mushroom underside. French cloud fries.Too true and vivid lies cast a fuzzy spell over my eyes. Take me by surprise. I'm all washed up. I'm so squeaky clean. Pet me. Screechy aerial.
Pointy pentacle. I'm mental. Mental. Mental. Mental. Mental. Mental. My brain boards are loose. Nails to the inside of my head. Saw my mind in half. I saw your life in brass. Gold. Bold. Golden folds.

You're so freaky. I'm so sneaky. Watch me crumple and die.

4:30 AM

I'm scared of the darkness swirling in the hall. It doesn't just sit, placid, like darkness should. It's almost like it's alive. I feel things prickling the back of my neck. I can feel eyes all around me.
I hear things. I hate being alone.

I can't sleep. Everyone got up and shut their doors. The wind is howling through the cracks in the windows, and I can swear the ocean is lapping at the side of the house, miles and miles away. The one person who can make it all turn to dust is tucked away behind a door at the end of the hall that I'm afraid to cross.

I see things in that hall that I hope aren't there. Moving things. Bitter, angry, hurtful things.
I do so hate being alone.

What's up, hoes? Sorry I haven't been lurking around the interweb lately, but don't worry, I'll be back soon to keep you warm on those late nights. I love you all, and I miss you like no motherfucker knows. Leave me notes, I DO read them, and I will get back to them when I'm not spitting blood and leaving bile milkshakes in the toilet.
Too graphic? Deal with it. Love ya! <3

Marty Dressler, you're a coldblooded murdiddlyurderer. And you can come and kill me softly, any old time, buddy. So yeah, Patrick on Law and Order tonight...I watched that horrible show for 2 hours just for him. It was so funny, Leah and I screamed real loud when we saw Patrick's name come up under Guest Appearances and her mom ran down the stairs looking alarmed and said "What's wrong?!" all concerned. We then had to explain that we'd seen Patrick's name...True teenie moment. We also screamed when we saw the guy that is set to grill Patrick into confession. But when Patrick came up, we were dead silent. I think it's cause we were so intent on watching it. Patrick is an amazing actor. I'm astounded by how talented he is in basically everything he does. He's adorable in the show, by the way. Don't want to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it, but I do wish he was on for longer. Perhaps he'll start making more appearances? I hope so.
I love you, my ninjas.

Last night...
It was pretty uneventful. I spent it looking for Cosmo Girl magazines with Pete spread across them, to no avail. I was in near tears when I passed by the window of Hibachi Express and saw him. Yes, he was stereotypically beautiful, and I walked past at first, taking note...but something in me just wouldn't let me leave him.
I walked back up to the door, planning to go in, but realized it was a bit late. I checked the restaurant opening and closing times and noticed that they closed at 9:30. It was 9:28. I made the most exaggerated Pete Wentz face ever, and caught him looking at me through the window as I did. We both stared at each other for a moment and then began to giggle. He smiled at me through the glass, and I smiled back...Something felt weird though. I felt like I should be in his arms. It was more than lust though. So hard to explain. I walked off as he stared at me curiously. Because I ruin every situation. I regretted it for the rest of the night and through most of today. I couldn't stop thinking about a guy I'd seen for less than a minute.
Well, today we were driving past Hibachi and I notiched that he was working inside...So I freaked out and decided that I was going to go in and buy something. As soon as I walked up to the door to open it, I felt him. I looked up and saw him looking at me, his eyes wide. I came inside and he moved up to the front counter as if to say something, but someone cut in front of him to take my order. I gazed at him and he suddenly blurted "Were you going to come in here last night?"
I nodded, amazed that he remembered and he said earnestly "We weren't closed, you could have come inside". I explained to him that I hated when people came into the place where I work when we were about to close.  The guy who was ringing me up gave me a whoop of appreciation. There were more words involved that I can't quite remember, but eventually my guy went off. He appeared on my side of the counter a few moments later, walking past and glancing over his shoulder. Once his back was turned, I wolf whistled, really loudly and then turned as if it weren't me. I wonder if he heard it. Anyway, I spent quite a bit of time exchanging quick, searching glances with him, and when I was finally leaving, I walked to the door. Sadly, he was nowhere to be seen...until I opened the door and noticed that he was stading nearby. He called, rather suddenly "Have a good night!".  " My heart beat to hard against my chest as I replied "You too!", and gave him one last look to last until I could see him again.

End of story...It may seem like nothing, but it's so much of a big deal for me. I haven't been able to stop thinking about him all night. I need to see his jet black hair and bright blue eyes, and hear his voice. I don't even know his name.
I've been calling him Mark. I don't know why. x]

Sorry...I'm worked up. I love him. I've never felt like this about anyone, but something odd happened the first time our eyes met. I just know.

Oh dear GOTT. I just walked past the TV in my livingroom coming back from my nightly raid of the fridge when I spotted none other than Zac Fucking Efron SINGING and carrying on. He was like twirling around on a hill and "singing" in that dull, lifeless voice of his. He has like, a HALF AN OCTAVE range.
 You know what really pisses me off? How all Disney Channel stars think they have some sort of talent with singing. EVERY ONE OF THEM. Dumb show, dumb album. That's how it goes for them. And all these kids nowadays just lap it up like Pete Wentz's sweat or something. Jesus Christ, get over it. High School Musical SUCKS, Miley Cyrus, not the best singer in the world, and Ashley Tisdale? TToTT I want to cry. What is this world coming to?
I'm a bitter old woman. Prepare for a long list of things that I find really annoying, and you can bet your batheart that Zac Efron will be pretty high up on it.

For me to delete unsavory individuals from my friends list. I'm serious. If I don't talk to you, you're going down. To China town.
Well, away from where I can see you, at least. All you dumb, talentless acts (yeah, you iZiplok) can kiss my ass goodbye. To everyone else, I love you and can't wait to squeeze you with my electronic arms into a warm, winter hug. Cheers, babies.

So I pretty much feel like shit.
It's funny how when you look back on stuff now, you know the exact formula to a fucked up equation.
I'll tell you what happened, but I have to go back a few days. It was Sunday, I'm sure of it. Peter and I were driving back to my house from taking a walk downtown. Infinity on High was playing, but I don't quite remember what song it was. The Carpal Tunnel of Love or something. Something towards the middle of the album.
Anyway...We're driving down first street and all of a sudden, I see under a streetlight a little cat playing in the middle of the street. Right smack where a car could knock its lights out, turned over on its back and having a jolly old romp. I freaked out, especially when I noticed there was a car speeding toward it. I yelled to Peter "OMG, Pete, look at that cat!".
He looked at it. And kept driving. The car swerved around it. We were past the cat. Another car sped toward it and swerved. I was nearly off my seat, turned around freaking out. "Peter, it's gonna get hit!"
He turned and gazed at me dully, his features in perfect contrast with my own wide eyed panic. He could care less.

20 minutes later, the cat was out of sight and out of mind. Actually, I'd completely forgotten about it until today. I was walking my dog and listening to music. Atavan Halen was playing and I was in an alright mood until this retched stench decided to fill the air. It was like something had crawled into a hole and died.
As it turned out, my sense of smell was horribly accurate. Except it wasn't in a hole. It was the cat from a few nights ago, mouth agape, paws in the air and eyes devoured by maggots. It was cloaked in flies and bugs.

I wanted to vomit. Not because of the flies, the missing eyes, or the abhorrid smell.
Nope. It was the fact that, had I taken some initiave, there wouldn't be a dead cat on the side of the road for maggots and flies to gnaw on. And I continue to detest myself for my many faults. This is just one of them.

Dead cats, indeed.

Cold blooded on a warm, summer night
Keep me from dying at the will of the world
Hold me close and say "It's not alright, but get over it
Turn your back and never look again"
I'll say you mean the world to me
And you'll tell  me not to talk like that.

Slip out of focus for a moment
Put on those glasses you don't need
And take me out of context

My words are the stitches on your wrist
Keep it closed, mouth shut and eyes dry
Take a breath and load your gun with ambition
No one needs you more than you do
So don't let you down

Pull the trigger on this mess and blow it away
You've never smelled serenity like this
Time to pack up your mind and move out

Hold your [head high] heavy heart
And use it in your defense
Nothing will stand in the way with control
Trust is a weakness, so don't be weak with me
But hold in virtue that I'm less likely to tear you apart than the next one.